So I tell you....so much has happened since my last little post. In fact, on the same day that I posted, I found out that my husband had cheated on me once again. What made this one worse was that the girl and I had been chit chatting because they both told me that they had just been friends. To put the icing on the cake, I was suppose to meet the girl 3 days after I found out.
Well when he finally decided that he needed to be honest and get it off his chest, I found myself thinking. Is this shit really worth it? I mean the thought alone made me sick, literally sick, to my stomach. And he still wanted me to meet her, because she needs some guidance. Soooo after talking with this girl already since March.....I decide that I am going to go ahead and meet her. I don't, of course, tell her that I already know that she did my husband. So, I decide to go and meet her as a person that I have been chatting with and not the girl that banged my husband in February. Or whenever. I like her, damn it. So I hang out with her and crash at her roomie's place and then in the am, she decides to tell me what actually happened between her and Damian. I told her that I already knew. But I am still friends with her.....She is really immature though and almost got decked the one night for stepping out of line.
But as I sit and think more and more, I am wondering if this is really worth it. I mean, Damian sent me a pic the other day, and I didn't even think, damn your hot. I was just like yep that is you.. Woo woo. So, I wonder if my heart is really into working this out? Do I really care? Why do I want to stay with? How many other girls are there or were there? I mean I eventually find out everything. He knows that. What am I doing????? I don't know. I don't even know if I really want him and then I get a letter and I think oh how sweet is he. I don't get it.
Is love really worth the hassle?
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Is love really worth the hassle? Are you freakin kidding me?!?
You know how things are with me right now. You know how things have been with me, and you will always know where I stand. Of course love is worth it!! Why else do we go on living?
Please promise that you will take your time and really think this through. You know how I feel about that chick, but I respect your decision. You also know that I will support you in whatever youmay decide. But you also have to remember that marriage is for better or worse. As shitty as this may sound, you're going through the "worse" right now. It WILL get better, because it can't get any worse. And he loves you, even though he's done some pretty jackass things this past year. You love him too, or you wouldn't still be with him. Hang on to that.
I'll see you this weekend!!
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